Instead

Well that was short
Never have I ever…

The moment your prayers
Reached His ears
His ear already leaning toward your lips
To hear a supplicant whisper for Mercy
And Mercy was granted, child
What giving and receiving offers all
Stealing and losing destroys
But love restores all
Let even the smallest of loving offerings
Takes one of the greatest of sufferings away
Blessings abundantly and prayers be answered to you for His Glory

To you whom that offering was made:
I love you
Deeply enough that tears of joy fill my cup
Instead of the bitter tears of laments
Do not ever give up in your faith
In Him His Glory always shines
For truly, your faith moves even mountains

Snip

I was recently prescribed medication to help me sleep, but what I need is a device (phone, tablet, pc, whtvr) that can function properly so I am not treading in a sea of “autocorrection”, I think autocorrection turns me into a sloppy typist!

Turns out this medicine is also an antidepressant (to be said with a very depressed tone).

After day three, a part of me was instantly silenced. A part of me I always relied on, that part of me that found God and conversed with Him about everything. Gone. Like it was cut off – snip – just like Samson after his hair was cut. Honestly, it really hurt, a really deep wound was made. However, this is something that the Lord has healed already, all of my experiences still echo like memories, and He did prepare me for this.

If antidepressants did this to me, does that mean God is the cause of some undiagnosed depression or is God my antidepressant? Neither really, but either way, I really enjoyed probing His Mind because it is much better and more perfect than mine, but I promised loved ones I would give this medicine a try, as I am only sleeping 2-3 hours per night. You get the misfortune of reading about my experiences now, to see more of the human side of me, so unsubcribe now while you still can!

That said, I realized something while sitting in that silence waiting for Him to say something, that I have not been saturated in such deep silence in a very long time, for that silence to me is a gateway to His Consciousness, yet it was there I stayed when I found Him. I have no idea what this brain drug did to me. Maybe all of my encounters with God are only just in my head. *crickets* Nah…

That place beyond the silence is a place I always go to when I am in need of Christ’s company. It is an interior place that I am never denied entry to, and the size of it is infinite, and is a place of wonder, excitement, joy, and most importantly love, for It is in it’s entirety, Heaven. I can always get to there from here, but now I have to meditatively enter into that silence and listen and can no longer stay as I perpetually did the many years before. I do not really care if people do not believe me, for it is a truly a gift, one I was happy to share, a gift that allowed me to embark on journeys over thousands of years, and while here on earth I merely skipped a heartbeat. People barely understand the Wisdom of God that comes from mere children, yet alone someone who was gifted to discover it. Most of these journeys are truly with the Lord, some of them I journey alone, but never really alone, like how I feel right now; it is the same as if I had entered one of those journeys along a skipped heartbeat. Time is such a wonderful thing!

It does not matter if none see the relevance to what it is I am writing about. To most of them it just sounds like arrogance, like I am saying I am better than them, by my boasting. Let me tell you something about boasting. Boasting in and of the Lord Jesus is not really boasting, it is actually glorification. That which I have, that one perhaps envies, is not intended to cause envy, for what I have is not something that can be taken or bought, nor can it be given or sold by anyone. It is God’s gift and I say, why envy? What I have is yours. If you as an individual or collective publicly condemn someone who is righteous in glorifying and edifying God for what good things the Lord has done for them and others, that very same condemnation you bestowed will come back upon your head a thousand fold. That is no joke, that is why you all suffer so much, it really is your own doing. That is the truth, not sugar coated, just the plain reality you all bathe yourselves in and the Lord withdraws because of this apostasy.

Therefore, be humble and approach God with that humility and love Him in others along the way. He will not run to you to strike you down should He see you coming home empty handed, what is important is you come home to Him; Would Our Father turn his face away if He saw His own child broken and bleeding on the horizon, even after having squandered His House? No, He will run to you with a host of Angels to come and take you into His House as He is the loving Father who always will! If you are coming home to Him carrying a load of earthly treasure, the things that cannot enter Heaven, Christ will stop you before you continue and say to you, “you have done very well for yourself, now sell what you have and give it DIRECTLY and PERSONALLY to the poor, then come follow me and enter the Kingdom of God.” You who have such riches and wealth, there should not be any poor or sick walking the entire earth a thousand times over, but you lord your wealth over the very lives of those who gave it to you!

All must approach Him just as we are, how much Joy will be His if on the horizon there stood thousands upon thousands of His Children returning home to Him!

I have no poetry today nor probably for a while anyway, for the Poetic Lover in me has been silenced. I tried to write a poem for you all today, but it came out as garbage and dribble.

I have been through the “dark night of the soul” before, and there may very well be laments as a result. The dark night of the soul, if you do not know, under His Grace, is a complete withdrawal of His Presence to someone who basked in it for a very long time, and it feels like it did last time. Oh, I never liked this part. Be merciful in my anguish O Lord, whilst I suffer thy withdrawal of Thine Presence from me; look kindly upon your Children whilst I offer this out of Love for the sake of those who refuse it!
Amen
Peace

Survived

I have often wondered
Why the bullet never fired (in fact it reversed itself inside)
Why I survived strangulation
Why poison had no effect
Why death evades me at every step
Does it evade me because it fears me?
Does it evade me because I am Death?
Then the answer came when I waited in silence
No
It is simply because God loves me
That is all
That same Love
I have for you all
And this kind of Love
Defeats Death every time
Peace to all

And a big Amen
With hugs and kisses
To the ones I Love..

All Of Heaven

I know all of Heaven
I know they are all watching as a prayerful Audience
The ending from my eyes, I truly hope
Will not be like an R rated movie
Kind of ironic, dontcha think?
That the thing people dread the most
Behave and in some ways desiring
To be that which they are watching or even reading
Zombies or killers or gods even
Or whatever it is these days
That immersement leaves them feeling empty
Especially when the story ends with no cliffhanger
Or worse when a sequel never comes..

Oh that the sign of Jonah be fulfilled
In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ…

But instead as I looked
I jumped over the edge instead
And immersed myself into His story and life
And He immersed Himself into mine
That thread of hope that Love holds onto
Leaving the Audience with suspended gasps of silence
Raising me from the dead really is
A very minor thing to do for Him
Eternal Life He promised Me
So far He has delivered on His Promise every single time
Thus His Glory will be His Revelation..
Amen

The Lord Speaks

The Lord speaks and I continue to warn you
And I am not talking about just this poor instrument
I am talking about My many Prophets
That come before you
Many of them women1
Why is it that My prophets must always drink a bitter cup
The moment they stand up as a Prophet of the Lord
When at Baptism they are declared as My Prophets?
I tell you truly
It is not because She is a woman
It is because the Lord is with Her
And that is the cup she chose
For I have stepped into the Light
If you want to see My Face and know who I Am
You will now have to look into Hers
But you best read what She wrote first
There is a lot of ground to cover

Many have been chosen to serve as Prophets
Many were called to become My Voice
So few chose the bitter cup
Because they were unprepared
To walk against the vipers and the demons
So they were left all alone
Some treated as a troublesome child
For when your mind is full of the fullness of Knowledge
And your heart seeks His Counsel
This grants the gift to discern quickly
Anything

Want to know what it is like to be a prophet?
It is not all it is cracked up to be, but it is better:

The decision to choose the bitter cup
Is quick and decisive
When you discover by My Knowledge it is something
That delivers suffering now and Glory later
But with that comes unspeakable Power
My Power
Infinite Power
Power you need not control
For you are mere Children
And Power is given at the proper time
But never before you all are raised into Eternal Life
That is what Faith is for
Thus Our Lord and His Mother will defend you in every way
While the Spirit impossibly defends you along your way
For it is always in His Name you serve
Even if you forget
Even if you are curled up in a ball
In the darkest deepest recess of Hell while on Earth
Even to you He will come to save
For you are the lost and forsaken
None of that would ever be your fault

To those who love the Lord deeply
The ground is blessed where you stand
And to the meek the Spirit descends and ascends
Like His precious jewels
Tossed in for good measure
To take them all back up again for only a mere moment in time
What do you think the Lord will do with such jewels?
They inherit the earth, do they not?
His Jewels He will place in the places High Above

I showed them the depth of my love
And was rejected for it
That is the difference Vassula2
You have been spared at no cost a small part
That always comes from a bitter cup
I am glad He blessed you with it
I can see His Face beaming from yours
The same Face in the Ostensory of Love
That makes your face an Ostensory of Love

And for You I pray
That You continue to show His Face
As He really is
To all who look upon You
Amen

1
They are commonly women because they do not shy from suffering even a long while for a greater good
Men mostly cower, however they are still just as loved

By the mere utterance of such a thing
I have already stirred trouble
Trouble because I am The Ram
Now watch them flee
When they see me charging

2
Vassula,
What I have written you
You have tragically never read
Despite my attempts to reach you
Their fierce protection of you is admirable
But do not let them suffocate you
It is precious love, so bless them

But to have what was written by His very Hand
A Testimony of His True Witness
Cut off by pure envy and intolerable human policy
A Testimony I might add
Of a Witness sent down by Him
All to give God Glory
To a True Life in God

Tossed away like garbage

Satan thinks it is pathetic
But who cares what he thinks anyway
I cast him into a prison
Ha, you will never ever guess where!